you taught me how to love like i never loved before.

many times at night, i cry.

i tried to hold on to the memories, but it cannot feel the missing you in my heart.

and it gets really bad every night. i never used to understand why you would cry at night while we were still dating, because you missed me so dearly.

and now i finally do. it's the kind of helplessness. that we want someone so much. and yet, it's not possible.

Indeed, the pain you have caused me is unbearable. The times you hugged me so tightly to ask me not to leave you. the times you held me so tightly and promised you will never leave me for the rest of my life. baby. in the end you left xz. and the most hurting part is, you no longer feel anything for me baby. it's ironic. you are my one and only happiness, yet at some times you were my only sorrow. deep down, i know all of these, lies with me and all i can ask silently is your forgiveness. i shouldn't have lacked trust and been paranoid in whatever you do. i shouldn't have held you back when you wanted to do something you really like. i have not felt for anyone i feel for you. this time is different. i cant find myself back at all. you have changed me alot and i have become all yours. now that baby you are gone. i seem to lost it. all of me.

It's with you, that i'm happy. It's with you, i'm truly myself. and it's with you, that i know what i really want in my life. true, life was on-going for me, even before you appeared in my life. but it was never this happy. it was never this meaningful. and i never felt my heart, feel so strongly for someone, missing someone this much, every single day knowing baby doesnt feel for me anymore.

Maybe someday, our paths will be linked up once again. Maybe it wont.

Although it has been 7months, since we broke up. i still feel strongly for you. i want to fetch you everyday. i want to have meals with you. i long to see you every single minute. and i do take our photos, to view everynight.

The times we spent together, can never be replaced.

i know, i've lost the special place in your heart.

But to me, as long i'm still here.

You will always be my special one.

the one whom i'll always love dearly.

xiaozhan xoxo baby.